Learning about myself.

This exercise in class made me realize how uncreative I am, and also how negative I am about a lot of things. Needless to say, I learned a lot about myself through this.

EXERCISE:

"Name the following things. Imagine stories they might go in. Remember that tone is important, so choose both an earnest name and a farcical one." I just chose one name for all of them.

A desert town: Dry Plains. So generic. A 2 year old could've come up with this one.
A race horse: Lightning. Again, super predictable.
A literary magazine: Writers journal. Zzzzzzzzz... Oh sorry. Just falling asleep at how boring that is.
A new disease: This one was hard....I couldn't figure one out.
A rock band: The Split Ends. Only thought of this because I've been battling this issue for a while.
A summer cottage: Spruce lake. Gay.
Triplets: Sammy, Tammy, Jim. Poor Jim's name doesn't rhyme.
A Liqueur: Black velvet. Nothing sounds smoother than a black stripper name.
A beauty salon: Cut and Paste. You get your hair cut, and sometimes, you get more pasted on.
A New diet: The Air Diet. Nothing works quite as well as starving yourself.
A soap opera: Sad and Depressing. This should be the title of every soap opera.
A football team: The Losers. I hate sports. 'Nough said.
A diner: Dingo's. Diners remind me of a hillbilly cooking up roadkill. I imagine this hillbilly's name would be Dingo.
A new religion: Disnetarianism. Basing all of your religious views off of the values taught in Disney stories.
A new planet: Zortog. Pretty sure I heard this on a tv show. I'm unoriginal.
A polluted river: Shitbed Creek. Nothin' says polluted river more than one full of shit.
Poetry collection: Look At Me! I'm Deep and Philosophical. Poetry bores me.
A Chihuahua: Pico.
A Burglar: Coon-bandit. I think of the Hamburglar. He had a mask on. Looked like a raccoon.
Bar: Porcelain Bus. That's what you'll be driving when you get home.
Lipstick Color: "Prostitute Red" and "I Just Ate A Powdered Donut" white. Lovely colors.
A Yacht: Money Bags. Nothing is more douchey than someone with a yacht called Money Bags.