Procrastination is making me it's bitch. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?

WHY.

WHY do I LOVE to push important things off till the last minute?

Maybe I just subconciously love making my brain cry with an overwhelmingly strong feeling of dread and panic.

I find myself saying all the time, "Oh, I'm going to stop procrastinating! I'm gonna do it! I'll get everything done ahead of time so I never feel like I'm being crushed under a massive load of tasks ever again!"

Never happens.

I said that before college started, and here's what happened:

In my US History course, we were given an assignment to write an 8-12 page essay about a historical figure that would be due on the last day of the semester.

Me: "Oh, I got this! I'm gonna get everything done on time and be done WAAAAYYYYY before it's due!! YAY!"

THREE WEEKS LATER

Me: "Oh......well.... I have 8 weeks left! I can just start it then! Everything will be fine!"

TWO WEEKS BEFORE DUE DATE

Me: "ALRIGHT! It's crunch time! After class, I'm gonna go home, crack open the books and start this project! NOBODY DISTRACT ME!"

Eventually, it's the day before the due date, and I'm working like a fucking sweatshop prisoner, trying to crank out an AMAZING, ACCURATE, and IMMACULATE paper that any teacher would be willing to tack onto their own fridge.

I ended up only writing 5.5 pages out of the required 8-10. This made me panic A LOT! My teacher was going to take of SOOOOOOO many points because I didn't meet the page requirements! I could tell!

The next day, when he's collecting papers, I shamefully handed it to him, trying to make it look like the stack of papers in his hand is much thicker than it is....but lets face it.... it was like, 2 pages. He could definitely tell.

The week following, I could hardly bring myself to look at my grades online. I definitely failed that class. I'm pretty sure I bombed the final exam, and the fact that my paper was terrible definitely didn't help my grade whatsoever.

FINALLY, I force myself to look at them, mainly because my parents were really interested in seeing what I had gotten for grades first semester.

I ended up getting a "C" on the final.....but what I saw next shocked me so much I almost died...

How in the FUCK did I get a 93 on an essay that was 7 pages short of the requirements? How does this even happen?!?!?!

I figured it was a mistake, but who am I to complain???

I ended up passing the class with a B by some miraculous feat of God.

I'm going to try to do better this semester procrastination wise....but who am I kidding?

Really?

Probably not going to happen.